Both of us got our degrees as clothing designers during the year 2014. With the glorious feeling of getting out of the school also came something we should have been expecting. Questions. Especially the question: “What now?”.
It has been asked by many people and not least by ourselves. We were both putting so much effort on getting our asses out of the academy that we hadn’t had time nor energy to start thinking about the future and make plans. Not to even mention working on getting things settled. I graduated right before summer and I just slipped to what I had been doing before: I went to work at a summer time theater. No big questions about that.
One day, while doing the dishes, I was watching Miss Representation, a documentary about female representation in media. It zooms into a picture media draws about women and how it effects the possibility of women to get into leading roles in companies. I’m a huge feminist myself and I’ve grown even more emphatic during the last year as I’ve got more confidence and a possibility to teach kids about equality. At the same time I hate that we still have to fight for this.
Few years back I worked in a gift shop as a sales assistant during one summer. Everyone there had clothing provided by the firm to wear at work, 60’s style knee length dress with open armholes and colourful apple pattern. That apple dress was to become my worst enemy in terms of feeling good of myself but after all it was also the key.
Clothes and style is so personal that even small things can throw it off. You perhaps know the feeling from your own childhood. An accident including juice, milk or anything liquid. You messed your clothes and then you had to borrow something to wear from your cousin against your will: your aunt, mother or grandma insisted. There was always something wrong with the borrowed piece. Maybe the colour was wrong, the material was scratchy or it just smelled funny.
I have walked a long journey with depression and anxiety and by this day I’ve come to realise that sometimes I need a good pack of tools to help me cope with my destructive thinking and low mood. When an anxiety attack comes I’m not very likely to start searching for something to boost my mood so it is handy to sneak these working coping methods into the mind so if we are lucky they might just pop out in the right moment. When you feel that you aren’t good enough and everyone else is judging you even though they don’t admit it, it’s definitely time get something positive going on and tackle the beast.